


Burden

by orphan_account



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Feelings of depression, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 18:35:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16897821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: After some comments, and strange treatments, you are beginning to feel unwanted in the Company of Thorin Oakenshield.  So you decide it is best to leave.  But what happens after you leave surprises you.





	Burden

Slow poke.  Strange one.  Klutz.  Pain.  …Burden.

 

These were all words and phrases you had heard over the past week.  They were words that wouldn’t mean that much if they weren’t coming from those people who were saying them.  The Company of Thorin Oakenshield.  You stumbled upon them by accident, but they had taken you in for your own survival. 

 

You knew it was their own want to be free of guilt that pushed them to take you in.  They, and you, knew that if they hadn’t taken you in on that cold and rainy night during their journey, you probably would have perished from the elements.  So you traveled with them.  But you were no dwarf, you were no warrior. 

 

So you had troubles keeping up…slow poke.  You would trip over the roots in the earth…klutz.  There were times when you would question what they did, their ways…strange one.  When you needed protected…pain.  But it was only when you tripped and cut your hand, when the company had to stop for Oin to tend to you, that you heard the final word, the final word that made your heart break.  Burden. 

 

That’s what you were.  You were a burden.  You laid down on your cloak, imitating sleep, as you thought that over.  The company had become good friends to you, you thought.  But they were right…Thorin was right, you were just a burden.  A burden they didn’t need on this long trip. 

 

You sat up and looked around the camp, taking in each sleeping form.  Bofur, the one who could make you laugh.  Ori, the sweet and innocent one.  Fili and Kili, your closest friends in the company.  Nori, and Dori, and Bombur, and Bifur.  You didn’t want to leave them, but…you had to. 

 

You were quiet as you gathered your things.  You didn’t have much.  Most of what you carried was given to you by the party.  Those things, you left in a little pile.  It wasn’t your stuff, it was better that you left it to them, to aid their travel. 

 

You weren’t sure who was on watch, but you didn’t see anyone, at least…not at first. 

 

“Where are you going, Y/n?”  You froze in your spot as you took a deep breath.  There was two in your company who never called you any of those names.  Two that made you feel welcome and as a true member of the company.  Bilbo was one of them.

 

“I’m leaving, Bilbo.  Let me go.”  You said, without even turning to face him.  You knew if you did, you would see those sad eyes of the little hobbit, and you would go back to camp.  You had to do this…you didn’t want to be a burden anymore.

 

“You can’t leave!  It’s in the middle of the night, no, no, you will come back to camp.  We will discuss this in the morning.” He said so sternly.  It would have made you laugh under different circumstances.

 

“He is right, my dear.  It is not time for travels.”  Oh Gandalf.  There was the other who made you feel welcome.  The only two who weren’t dwarves.  The only two who seemed to want you there.

 

“There is a town nearby, I saw it on the map.  I will travel there and make my way.  I won’t…I won’t be a burden…anymore.”  You began to walk, but felt Bilbo’s hand grab your arm.

 

“You are no burden.  You are a member of—“

 

“I am!”  You cried out.  “They have all said it.  Pain. Klutz. Burden. All of them think it, because it is what I am, Bilbo.  It is best…it is best if I leave.  Your mission is more important than I.  So I’m leaving.  I’m sorry, Bilbo.  You cannot stop me.”  You had tears falling down your face as you looked back at him.  You could see the heartbreak on his face as well.  “I…I h-have to.”  You managed to get out.

 

Gandalf stood up from his spot on his rock and walked over to you.  “Fret not, my dear.  If you desire to leave, then I will escort you.  I need some things anyway.”  Gandalf set his hand on your shoulder and led you away from Bilbo.  You lowered your head as the tears silently fell, thinking…what you wouldn’t give to be able to stay…

 

And so you and Gandalf slowly made your way down the hill in the forest, heading towards the town.

 

000

 

Bilbo watched as Gandalf led you down the hill.  But just before you were both out of sight, Gandalf turned around and nodded towards the company.  He then turned and said, “My dear…if we could go slowly, these old legs don’t move as well as they should.”

 

That was it…Bilbo watched them disappear before he took off at a sprint towards camp.  The dwarves were already beginning to wake, probably having heard some commotion.  He managed to stumble in just as a couple of them were looking around.  “Where is Gandalf?  And Y/n?”  Asked one of them. 

 

That set off the chain.  “Where are they?”  “Did they wander off?”  “Such a pain.”  “Such a burden.”  There it was.  Bilbo had never heard it until then, he never paid attention until now.  And it broke his hobbit heart.

 

“Burden…well…no worries about that anymore.”  Bilbo said, trying to reign in his anger. 

 

“What do you mean?”  Kili asked as he stood up and stretched. 

 

“Look…”  Bilbo knelt down by the pile of stuff you had left behind.  “She even gave us our things back.”  One of them was his cloak.  He packed two, to be safe.  So he gave one to you to keep you warm. 

 

The dwarves looked over as Bilbo began to pick up items and throw them at each dwarf they once belonged to.  “And here, some boots…those are yours Ori.  And a dagger, to Fili.  Such little things to unburden you.”

 

“Why did she leave her things here?  It will just take more time to pack.”  Nori asked as he picked up a little lock pick he had granted you a few days ago. 

 

“Because she isn’t going to need to pack.  She left.  Gandalf is taking her to the town.  Because she feels she is a burden…that’s what you call her, isn’t it?  Burden?”

 

The group fell silent as they took in the information.  “Well…we didn’t—“

 

“Didn’t what?!”  Bilbo squeaked.  “Didn’t mean it?  Well, that’s the thing about words.  Once you say them, they can’t be taken back.  You…you all have called her something, like burden.  And those words sunk into her mind, and convinced her that it was what she was…a burden.  So she left.  She said she didn’t want to be a burden to you anymore.  That your mission was more important than her…”  Bilbo sniffled as he saw your heartbreak in his eyes again.  “And as the tears fell from her eyes, she turned away.  Not because she wanted to, but because she thought that was what all you wanted.” 

 

There was only silence.  The dwarves were wide-eyed at his words.  “Well…I guess you got what you wanted.”  Bilbo shook his head as he sat down, his cloak in his hands.

 

000

 

Your walk with Gandalf was a quiet one.  You had made it down the hill, it seemed to take forever.  Gandalf never seemed to have problems going uphill, why was downhill any different?  You didn’t question him though.  You were glad to have someone to walk with, someone to say goodbye to. 

 

You made it out of the trees and saw the little village at the foot of another hill.  You let out a deep and sad sigh as you turned to the tall wizard and his grey pointy hat.  “This is goodbye, Gandalf.  I don’t want to trouble you any further.  I can make it down the hill on my own.  Thank you…thank you for everything.”  You said sadly. 

 

“My dear, perhaps you should wait, but a moment.”  He said with a smile on his face.

 

“What would a moment change, Gandalf?  But lengthen the heartache?” 

 

“Do you not hear it?”  He said softly. 

 

You turned your head to the side and listened.  It was then that you heard it…on the breeze…your name.  You gave Gandalf a look as you turned back to the forest as the sounds got louder and louder.  Someone was shouting your name, and Gandalf’s.  A lot of someone’s.  It was then that the company of dwarves came barreling out of the trees, shouting after you.

 

Your eyes went wide as the first to reach you, surprisingly Bombur, lifted you up in a tight hug and squeezed you.  “Don’t leave, Y/n.  We didn’t mean it.  We don’t want you to leave.”  He said so quickly. 

 

Soon there were others around you.  Some were speaking words of apologies and of how they wanted you to stay.  Others offered promises to help you more, be more patient.  And some were just concerned, like Bofur.  “Put her down before you squish her to jelly!”  He said, pulling at Bombur’s arms.

 

He released you and patted your shoulder.  “I’m sorry, Y/n.  But please stay.” 

 

You didn’t know what to say as the company surrounded you and begged you to remain by their side.  Even Gloin and Oin were in on it.  “Who will I tend to if not you?  I need a purpose on this quest!”  Oin offered up as he gave a slight chuckle. 

 

You looked to Gandalf, seeing his proud look as he nodded to your right.  You turned and saw none other than Thorin and Bilbo walking forward.  The mass of dwarves parted, as if by magic, as he approached.  He reached out a hand and laid it on your shoulder. 

 

“Our burglar has brought to our attention that our words have made you question your place.”  His voice was soft and stern, so king-like.  It always amazed you how he always commanded respect in his voice, even over simple tasks.  “Let me fix that now.  You are a member of this company, and you are needed as much as the others.  If you so wish to stay, we would be pleased to have you join us on our journey.” 

 

You felt tears sting your eyes, but you didn’t let them fall.  You wouldn’t cry in front of the great Thorin Oakenshield.  “But…I’m just a burden.”  You said softly.

 

Thorin let out a deep sigh, regretting the word he muttered the day before.  “A burden…you are a burden, at times.  As are others of this company.  But it does not make them any less welcome in this company, or any less needed.  You are not always a burden, you bring light to this journey.  Never forget that.” 

 

You listened to Thorin’s words and nodded. 

 

“So you will stay?”  You turned your head to see sweet little Ori holding on tightly to his book as he gave you those pleading eyes. 

 

“I…I’ll stay.” 

 

The cheers of the dwarves was deafening.  It mixed with the happy laughter of Bilbo and Gandalf as well as they all led you back to the camp, helping you pack your things, and getting you ready for the next leg of your journey. 

 

“Don’t fall behind.”  Thorin shouted back as he led the way.  You could hear the humor in his voice, it made you smile.  Kili walked next to you, rattling on about one thing or another as you followed the others.  And that was when you realized it, for the first time, you felt like you actually belonged. 


End file.
